Extra Large Condom
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
“Yes, we do,” replies the pharmacist. “Do you want to buy some?”
“Nope,” replies the woman. “But, can I wait around here until someone does.”
***********************************************************************************
Girls Night Out
Two women had gone out for a girls night out. On their way home, both of them realized that that they both needed to pee. But the nearest place they could found is just a graveyard. So, they decided to stop and dodo their business behind a headstone.
Both of them had nothing to wipe with. The first woman take off her panties, used them, and threw them away. Her friend didn’t want to ruin her expensive panties, but managed to find a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day, the first woman’s husband phoned the other and said, “those f***ing girls night out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties.”
“That’s nothing,” said the other. “My wife came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, ‘From all of us at the Police Station, We will never forget you’.”
***********************************************************************************
Great Nose Ability
A blind man walks into a restaurant and brag that he can guess the previous costumer’s food by smelling their fork for a free meal. Curious, the waiter, who is also the owner, walks over the dirty dish pile, picks up a greasy fork and hands it to the blind man. The blind man put the fork to his nose, takes a deep breath and says, “Roasted beef”. And he’s right!
Several days later, the blind man returns and make the same bet. The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, “fried noodles”. Again, he’s right.
A week later, the blind man returns for another free meal. Before approaches him, the owner rush into the kitchen to meet the cook, who is also his wife.
“Lisa,” said the owner. “Rub this fork around your pussy,”
Lisa complies and hands her husband the fork back. The owner brings the fork to the blind man. The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep breath and says, “Hey! I didn’t know that Lisa worked here.”
****************************************************************************
Sex in the Dark
One night, a man and woman was started to have sex in a dark forest. After a hot 15 minutes, the man said,”S**t! I wish I had a flashlight.”
“So do I,” replied the woman. “You’ve been eating grass for the past 10 minutes.”
***********************************************************************************
Wife’s Affair
3 friends were talking about their wife. The first man said,”I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day, I came home and found a wire cutter under our bed.”
“Just like you,” said the second man. “I found a bag of flower seeds under our bed. My wife is surely having an affair with our gardener.”
“That’s nothing,” said the third man. “I think my wife is having affair with a horse.”
“What?!” exclaimed the first and the second man.
“Yeah, that’s true,” said third man again. “The other day, I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”
